50 Shades of NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN

In 2011 when the 50 Shades of Grey mayhem began, I was so against it. I had all of my coworkers circulating the books around calling it "Mommy Porn" and I wanted no parts of it. I am not the type who likes to jump on a bandwagon simply because everyone likes it or says its good.

I had kept up this trend for nearly four whole years until I visited my Aunt and she was raving about the series and how I should read the books. She made me take them home with me and promise that I would read them. She said I wouldn't be able to put it down....and she was right!

I was intrigued to say the least and if you read the book, I am sure I don't need to tell you why! lol So I read the trilogy within a two month span and was eager to see how the movie would play out. I am a BIG movie buff so this was perfect and terrible all rolled up in one. Perfect because I would get to see who they cast as the characters and see it actually played out and then it was terrible because when you read books the beauty of it is in your imagination and to see it played out on the big screen often takes away from your experience.

So this past Friday, I went to the movies to see it with one of my girlfriend's....no need to take the boys because they would ultimately ruin the lust we bottled up lol

I was surprised to see such young girls in the movie with their girlfriends looking High School age and maybe that's because the naughty books I read in High School were concealed from my parents (until now...because my mom reads my blog) and this book is known for its raunchiness.

So this is the reason for the title...

I know you are thinking where is she going with this blog and its title? Well here it is...like I do every morning I read yahoo news, and I also read different life columns...I like to read. But I came across an excerpt from a dad whose college age daughter and friends were hyped about the movie and were excited to see if because they read the books. Now he hadn't read the books but knew the storyline like everyone else in America and abroad. He had some great advice for his daughter and her friends and in which he told them that Christian Grey is fictional character and that they may never meet a young, hot billionaire that will wine and dine them. And that the mere thought that they could ever be Anastasia Steele is absurd and that you can never change a man.

Now this sounds all brash and blunt and he didn't quite say it like that but that's the jest of it. And that made me think....

I am a realist, I don't confuse "what is" from "I think it should be". And sadly most people do this. So after reading his excerpt, I just thought about all the people who really think that they can change a person to be who they think they want. This book is great "mommy porn" but I would never take any of this to be realistic. And I think its important for young ladies to know this.

If a man shows you who he is, (women too) BELIEVE him the first time. He is never going to change. A leopard can never change its spots....remember that.

Just like Ana, she wanted Christian so badly even though he told her "I am no good for you", that she ended up causing herself pain. She was willing to go outside her box and do things she was not comfortable with to please someone who didn't give her the nurturing and respect she needed. Yes, he wined and dined her but it was all at a cost. And I won't go into detail for those who are just movie goers and have not read the book but, ultimately it cost her, her freedom. The freedom to move and go without stipulation. As well as fully knowing that he cared about her and most importantly where they stood.

Moving away from the book and back into real life, we have all tried to mold someone or thought we could be the girl to change this man, make him a better person....the person we need him to be. And this thought process is all wrong. A man will never be the person you need him to be if you are not the girl he is willing to change for. Men can and will change and become a better man, a faithful man and a God fearing man, but he won't do it for you if you are not the one.

Do not keep on chasing, and wishing this man will change and be something he is not because you will only waste your time and ultimately your feelings will be hurt. My favorite saying is, "everything will work itself out just the way it is supposed to be" and if you live by this, I promise your outlook and world will be so much better.

So your dream man may be a Christian Grey, and you can continue to chase after something that will never be or you can let that idea you have in your head go and gain knowledge of yourself, your self worth, and a man that completely shames your "Christian Grey" but you will never know if you continue to bury your head in the sand and never come up to see the beach.

Please leave comments of your thoughts about the blog or the movie....LET'S CHAT!