Life. 

 

If you Google what "life" means, you will see...."the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death."

 

If you are just reading this and taking this for face value, none of this will resonate with you. And to be completely honest, the only thing that stands out to me is the "continual change preceding death" part. Whomever wrote this definition or this one part that stuck out to me, either wrote this as blandly as possible just have a short and sweet definition or they haven't been through any real life struggle. I mean how humdrum is that last part? If you ask me, its VERY!

 

The overall definition is disconnected from any social norm I am used too.

 

Life is so much more than continual change preceding death. Life is beautiful, fun and has so many adventures...I mean the possibilities are endless with this thing called life. I have a couple of people in my circle who are experiencing the downside of life right now, meaning things aren't going their way. I can completely understand their plight, I have had things fall through or not even come to pass in my favor. 

 

What I want them and the reader to know is trouble won't last always. And I want to take back my statement of "downside" to life because there is no downside of life when you can open your eyes and take a breath. And I know you're thinking, 'yea, but that's easy for you to say...you're not going through anything'. Well, that's the problem. You have to take yourself out of negative situations and having a pessimistic mind.
 

 
 

The beauty of life is the unknown. I have fully embraced the unknown and honestly, I feel as though my life has completely done a 180 from last year. I tried to plan life, and I had a rude awakening when nothing went as planned. I had no job which caused monetary issues, I moved back home to Greensboro (which ended up being a blessing) the one place I tried to run from ended up being the very place that saved my life. I was able to surround myself with family and friends, and although my situation didn't change overnight...never the less it changed.

 

I am not ashamed of my story and if you ever meet me, I will and can go deeper into my testimony because I look at everything I went through as an opportunity to help the next person.

 

What I am trying to say is, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how bad things seem...never give up! Never stop praying. If you don't believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord & Savior, believe in someone. And pray to that person for guidance and strength. And you can overcome any adversity that presents itself in your life.
 

 
 

You're going to have bad days, I know life is not sunshine and butterflies everyday, but

 everyday you wake up is another chance at life. Another chance to overcome your struggle, another chance to right a wrong and another chance to live and become the person you truly want to be.

 

Don't you know that diamonds are made under pressure? This trial you are going through is merely a test, and I cannot wait until you can share your testimony with the next person because when you can openly share with someone and see the expression of hope come across their face, it is PRICELESS.

 

Love and Light to all, especially my friend.

 

 

Nothing Was The Same: How Today's Generation is Oversexed, Lack Morals & Self Respect

 

This blog is not for the naïve, faint of heart, clueless or unaware people of the world. They just won't get this...

 

As a young twenty-something living, working and trying to do good in the "hood", I have noticed a lot of debauchery in the world and especially with my generation. If you aren't sure what generation you are in, I'm sure if you're reading this blog you are a Millennial. If you were born within the years of 1981-2000 you are apart, connected, grouped with the youth of today. You know the ones that don't have a type, but the only women they like are bad....you know the rest.

 

This is our youth, we are one. But have you wondered why there has been a slight curve within the millennial group? Money, cars, clothes and sex have always been a popular topic with the masses, but with this generation...from personal experience and mere observations, the millennial babies have taken this and literally ran with this for decades and its only becoming more of an issue.

 

SPOILER ALERT: I am going to touch on the reasons why I think this generation is oversexed, lack morals & self respect....or respect in general.

 

Let's state the obvious, I am a Millennial. The things that I am going to talk about, I probably thought was cool or acceptable. It has only been since I have opened my eyes and in other words, matured have I seen the light.

 

I am not going to sugar coat anything, our generation is completely oversexed. I had a conversation with a cousin a few months back and we both came to the reason why our generation is oversexed....now you may not agree with us, but our take raises valid points. Today's generation are followers. Followers in the sense that having more followers on social media makes you relevant, important in some sense. How do you get more followers? Sex appeal. Sex appeal is the end all and be all on social media. Which in turn makes everyone trying to obtain that validation of "being somebody" go above and beyond (Buzz Lightyear voice) on these networking sights.

 

I have seen women bare it all. I'm sure you have too. I have seen pen (short for penis) pictures circulating and greasy six packs as well...and I think to myself...don't these people know that once you post something online, its embedded online forever!...unless you have Beyoncé money and can pay someone to delete it. But, most people in the world aren't banking to that extent and cannot afford that, so that scantily clad outfit, penis pic and whatever else one choices to post for a like will be there when you apply for a job, and most importantly...for your children to see. (Someone is rolling there eyes...right about...NOW!)

 

The youth is also oversexed because...well...its EASY. Today, a man doesn't have to work and court a woman like in the olden days of the Baby Boomers or Generation X. They're all consumed with being a "baddie" or a "woe" (I may have used that out of term, because I'm not sure exactly what that means lol) It's like the more people you have sex with, the more clout you have and to frankly speak, that's disgusting.

 

Standing on my soap box: The reason I think this generation is so oversexed is because of the media. The way they portray celebrities. Think about it, lets take Beyoncé...she is a phenomenal performer, she is gorgeous. The media has put her and other gorgeous women of Hollywood on a pedestal & that leaves the average woman of the world left seeing her brother, dad, cousin, & significant other ogling over this woman (& the many others) and she internally wants to reproduce what she sees. And what does she do? She changes her image. She buys clothing that mimic what she sees and what she thinks will get her the attention of the opposite sex. And I don't mean dressing in barely there clothing, it can be anything that gives her that confidence she needs to feel like somebody.

 

Then you take the young man, he wants the money, cars and clothes to mimic the celebrities he sees with all the women. And he does the same as what the girl does who idolizes Beyoncé. This is a mixture for disaster because now you have young people fueled with the same desire. The young male is just trying to have clout within his friends to have this girl and that girl and goes out to find these women....notice I used THESE & WOMEN, in the plural sense.

 

Now our young man has found our young lady that we spoke about in the beginning and she easily and willingly gives up her precious gift thinking she may have found the one or just a good time. But the young man isn't solely interested in her and seeks the thrill of the next young woman who is mimicking what she sees in the media. And this my friends is a cycle. These young women make it so easy for these young men because there are a lack of morals and self respect. And I cannot put it all on the young women because we see the male is apart of the problem as well.

 

What happened to knowing your worth...and I mean that for both sexes. One answer, the media. People don't believe or they simply avoid the power of media, it can be a good thing and then the media can be as evil as the devil. And that's why its so important why we as a generation open our eyes and see that wealth, sex and importance don't stem from materialistic entities and the more you chase after that golden horse, the less happy you'll be and you'll be another fatality of the media.

 

At time in my life, I was naïve and I thought those things made me, I wasn't important without labels or knowing what celebrity did what...but it wasn't until I realized what truly is going on in the world and how lost our generation really is, that I decided to make myself aware of our issues. With writing this blog, if  I can get one person to step back and think, that could change the direction of our generation. And when I say "think" I don't mean you have to agree with me....I just want you to THINK. Step away from yourself and really evaluate yourself. Are you putting too much emphasis on the what nots of the world?

 

LET'S BE PROACTIVE MILLENNIALS!

 

 

 

 

 

WE are STRONG, WE are POWERFUL, WE are FORTIFIED!

As always, my weekend was slam packed! I am in NO way complaining because...just this time last year I was down and out and was just lost in life. It is so crazy how God can turn things around for you when you completely give him all the control in your life.

So back to my weekend! I had been running around tying up loose ends for a event here, there and not to mention my part-time counseling gig. But on Saturday, I helped my trainer put on her first Women's Health Expo. It was amazing! There were vendors from Arbonne (All natural weight lose and cosmetics), Cone Health (Hospital), DoTerra (Natural Aromatherapy Oils) mini testimony: my thumb and wrist have been hurting me since last November, Casey (DoTerra rep) gave me this cream and in literally in moments my wrist and thumb felt better...no lie, Saladworks, Lowes Food, Macy's, Boho Blu (Clothing Store) and one more vendor I forgot.....sorry. Anyway you guys get the point. We had a consignment sale and massage therapist giving away free massages! It was an overall wonderful event and I know April will continue to build this event and her business, because for a first time event....I think it was awesome.

Although everything was a amazing, one woman stood out to me. Her name is Jean Bailey Robor. When April first told me she was going to be one of the speakers and that she was the author of "She Has A Big 'But'", I totally thought she would be speaking of having a big butt (literally) and giving tips on how to deflate that thang!

However, I was wrong. Jean spoke about being empowered and conquering fears, hence the play on words...."She Has a Big 'But'". Afterwards when we had some down time and could network and talk to each other, she randomly came up and began a conversation with me. Although I am outspoken, I have to muster up a tremendous amount of effort to introduce myself to people. Having said that, I am glad she did. We started off with light chatter about April and how wonderful the event was and etc. And then we started talking about a product that her daughter and her daughter's husband sells called Beard Strong....how ironic is that?

Everyone who knows me well, knows Honey has a beard that I HATE! Its scratchy, long and just yucky!....its not bad, he keeps it well groomed, I just have to make it sound good. But I got information on this Beard Oil so I could of course take it back to Honey and this can be yet another product he uses on his beloved beard.

But then we just began to talk. And you know how you talk to someone and it's never a dull moment and you chat and chat? Well that's what happened. We left each other to mingle some more and surprisingly at the end, she gave me a signed copy of her book. I was truly honored as she told me she always finds one person to give her book to and she chose me for this event. I thought that was so sweet! You just don't meet genuinely sweet people like Jean anymore.

Moving to Sunday. I had to work my counseling gig and had some down time, so I decided to whip out Jean's book. I was so caught up in the book, I completely read the entire book in one sitting. It was so moving. It was about 15 short stories about different women who had BIG 'BUTS' in their lives and didn't have the courage or strength to want better out of their respective situations until they found strength in themselves they didn't know they had to do better and ultimately fly into their destinies.

This book is what I needed at this particular time. I am a naturally motivated person but sometimes I get weary and need some extra motivation and that's exactly what I received from reading this book. Each woman in this book can be relatable to each reader and that's the beauty of it....its just real. Its honest and open. Jean doesn't hold back or I guess I could say these ladies don't hold back on their shortcomings and become transparent, which is often what we as women deflect from. We like to portray we live wonderful little lives just to put on a show for others. Obviously, if you allow yourself to be transparent, you can not only help yourself but most importantly help someone else.

Overall my weekend was amazballs! And I loved and enjoyed making a new friend. I suggest everyone, men included to check out Jean's Website and her books. They were so inspirational and uplifting and that's what the world needs a little more of!

Love & Peace

"How you gonna tell me no?!" Is Rape The New Thing?

 

 

Where are all the real rappers?

 

You know the ones that actually have more to say besides rapping about the money, clothes, cars and you cannot forget the hoes!

 

Well this morning I awoke to yet again some disturbing lyrics that have been floating around and surprisingly to me, they are once again involving the sensitive subject of rape. I mean you think these rappers would be past or above a topic like this. Didn't they learn from Rick Ross and his molly all in your drink lyrics?!

 

Well I guess not, because Rich Homie Quan added some suspect lyrics in a song that was leaked that hasn't been released yet.

 

I first heard of this on my yahoo news....I am addicted to yahoo news and I normally get emails with what's been going on in the world while I've been sleeping and I read it religiously every morning. But enough about me and back to the matter at hand.....

 

So Rich Homie Quan is one of the newbies out in the rap game, but he is quite popular in the hiphop culture....(for those who are looking at his name like what the what) Yea, I was the same way before he made it mainstream when my little cousin told me she was at the beach hanging out with him....that is a completely different story lol

 

I cannot lie, his songs do have very nice beats and that's what lures you in first. Once the beat is good and has you nodding your head is when you may sit down and listen to what they're really saying. I am guilty of this. I may not even listen to the words, I may only focus on the beat and then months later I am like, I was jamming to this?!

 

Now down to the nitty gritty....these lyrics are graphic and some can say that they are to be taken light heartily but in actuality once you read these lyrics, you may change your mind. The lyrics are posted below.

 

Quan raps on the track:

“Don’t want your ho, just want that cookie from her/She tried to resist so I took it from her/How you gonna tell me no/You must not know who I am/Even if I’m on the road I see what's goin’ on cause you know I got cameras/ I don’t know no questions but I know the answers/I throw these black fists just like a panther.”

If you're interested in hearing the song, here is the link: I Made It

Now having read these lyrics what do you think?

 

In my opinion, these lyrics are very distasteful. These artist need to know that music is powerful and the young fans and some of the adult fans, take the lyrics to heart.

 

Think about your favorite artist, when listening to particular lyrics your mood can be changed. You can go back to a time when you were most happiest, you can also hear a song and become mad at the world. Music is powerful and these artist don't see how their words or wordplay can affect people in positive and negative ways.

 

These lyrics show me that Quan has no problem with raping someone, if she says no. And when heard by young men who aspire to be like him, this can be a recipe for disaster!

 

I am a full time Event Planner by day and a part-time counselor at youth home. This past Monday night, I had group with four young men and one young lady and the topic was about lyrics to songs. I am not even making this up! They all but one told me that they take what these artist are saying for face value, meaning they believe what these artist say and hold it to a high standard.

 

I attempted to tell them that some of these things artist say are false, they have never done something's and its all to gain fans and etc. But when you are 15 and 16 years old, who would you believe? Beyoncé, Jay-z, Quan or me? I thought so....so that's why its important to stand against an artist when they say things that can be taken out of context because these kids will think rape is ok and shooting someone is a natural occurrence in life. (Which many of the youth that I work with do...its so sad)

 

I have also been on some social media forums and the question about Rich Homie Quan's lyrics were discussed. Some people feel the same as me and think that something should be done about lyrics and then you have some people who say, the lyrics are being looked at too closely and they shouldn't be phased because its just a song.

 

I respect everyone's opinion, but that doesn't mean I have to agree and that goes for the people who disagree with me. But I think if we as people don't crack down on artist and their negative lyrics, then we will have an epidemic of unruly children who will not have the sense to know the difference between right and wrong and will ultimately become criminals. The more we turn our backs and say well people are looking too much into songs, movies and everything else the media pushes, the more ignorant we become.

 

The same people who take songs lightly will be the same ones crying when their sons hear this song or other songs and rape/kill someone or will be upset when their daughters have been raped/killed.

 

Rape, killing and deceiving people are never ok. But some artist continue to glorify these things in songs and will have this next generation all messed up. The children are supposed to be our future and just think once we are older, what will these children do? Who will these young children be? Who will be our leaders when we are too tired and old?

 

These are things people take lightly either because they don't believe that their kids can reach that level of success or they just haven't grown enough to realize, their parents will become old and they will have to take on worldly matters one day.

 

Either way, I digress. Let me know your thoughts on the lyrics, the song and any other source of media that turns you off. I am always up for a good discussion.

By the time I finished this blog, Rich Homie Quan has made a statement saying he never meant for it to be released and he is pursuing legal action on a cease and decease for the song....oh and he apologizes and doesn't condone rape at all...... 

Mean What You Say & Say What You Mean

You would think that the phrase in my title would be effortless and natural to some people, but in actuality....unfortunately.....it's not!

 

Now, I live by this phrase. It comes natural to me and maybe it's because of the way I was reared (I am not a animal I was reared...not raised). Anyway, that was your lesson of the day! (LOL) But back to the topic....yes, I was taught to always tell how you feel. Never suffer in silence and to always be honest. So, when someone doesn't do something that they say they are going to do, it sets my soul on FIRE! Literally.

 

I was also taught that if you don't have a pot to piss in and a....well you know the rest...that you will always have two things. One being your GOOD  name and your word. My dad preached this to me numerous of times, and as I have gotten older I completely understand the logic.

 

Your name is everything. There is no one on this earth that can say anything negative about me. You cannot do it. I treat everyone with respect and sometimes if I am feeling jazzy, I even go out of my way to be extra polite. Do I have days were I am not feeling and I have attitudes....well duh, I am a woman with raging hormones at certain times of the month or even day. Of course you will have some people say negative things about you but, that's life and none of that resonates with me because those people don't really even know me.

 

However, in light of my ramble....I will always keep my word. Your word is bond. If you go around making and giving false hope to people who really rely on your word and take your word as being gold....as I do with other people, then you should stay true to that. Never and I mean never tell someone you are going to do something and you do not come through....after enough times, that person will see you as a LIAR.

 

I don't know about you guys, but being called a liar is ONE of the most despicable things to me. I mean there are some other words that could be said to me that could really hurt, but liar is one that I take to another level because that is a stab at my character.

 

I do not understand how people can give false hope knowing that their intention was never to manifest into anything of substance....maybe I am thinking to deep or maybe not. But in today's society, a lot of people my age take things for face value and don't have morals or standards to adhere to.

 

But as my ramble on keeping your word ends.....just remember if you take nothing from this post, just be true to yourself and keep your word.

Randomness and Nothingness

Per usual, I am busy!

 

I am always busy now and that's a great thing considering last year, I was sitting in the house wishing I had something to do. The past few weeks, I have had three events! And two of them were only a day apart. And I know you're thinking..."Well isn't that what event planners do?" well, yes. Yes, it is. However, I am new to this event planning stuff and in the past my events have been spread out by a month or so.

 

I am no way, shape or form complaining about being busy but I do wish I had more time in a day.

 

Just thinking about what I would do with more time in a day!

 

I would hang out with friends more. I can't get enough of Honey so you know he will be along for whatever ride I take.

 

I would workout more, because lord knows I haven't seen the gym in about two weeks...but I have managed to lose five pounds and keep them off.....I must be doing something right! Oh and of course I would blog more!

 

Today I had time to catch up with my good girlfriend....I think saying bestfriend is so cliché! So I'll say, Good Girlfriend lol She is a super mom and super business lady, she and her husband own their own restaurant in Durham. It's a cute Mexican Restaurant named El Coyote. WARNING SHAMELESS PLUG.....If you are ever in Durham, NC stop by, the food is really good and authentic.

 

But enough of the shameless plug and back to the story....so we were chatting it up about the currents in our lives, when she says "I want to start a blog". I have already gotten my other girlfriend to start a blog and it's called Figuring Things Out (click on the link to check it out...it's a really good read). Of she worries about what to write about and I tell her to just WRITE! I told this to my girlfriend who has just started her own blog and someone told me this tid bit as well when I first started.

As you all can see my blog is a true lifestyle blog...my interpretation of that is that I write about whatever comes to my mind. So, having said that...watch out for her blog and check out the link above for more good reads.