As always, my weekend was slam packed! I am in NO way complaining because...just this time last year I was down and out and was just lost in life. It is so crazy how God can turn things around for you when you completely give him all the control in your life.

So back to my weekend! I had been running around tying up loose ends for a event here, there and not to mention my part-time counseling gig. But on Saturday, I helped my trainer put on her first Women's Health Expo. It was amazing! There were vendors from Arbonne (All natural weight lose and cosmetics), Cone Health (Hospital), DoTerra (Natural Aromatherapy Oils) mini testimony: my thumb and wrist have been hurting me since last November, Casey (DoTerra rep) gave me this cream and in literally in moments my wrist and thumb felt better...no lie, Saladworks, Lowes Food, Macy's, Boho Blu (Clothing Store) and one more vendor I forgot.....sorry. Anyway you guys get the point. We had a consignment sale and massage therapist giving away free massages! It was an overall wonderful event and I know April will continue to build this event and her business, because for a first time event....I think it was awesome.

Although everything was a amazing, one woman stood out to me. Her name is Jean Bailey Robor. When April first told me she was going to be one of the speakers and that she was the author of "She Has A Big 'But'", I totally thought she would be speaking of having a big butt (literally) and giving tips on how to deflate that thang!

However, I was wrong. Jean spoke about being empowered and conquering fears, hence the play on words...."She Has a Big 'But'". Afterwards when we had some down time and could network and talk to each other, she randomly came up and began a conversation with me. Although I am outspoken, I have to muster up a tremendous amount of effort to introduce myself to people. Having said that, I am glad she did. We started off with light chatter about April and how wonderful the event was and etc. And then we started talking about a product that her daughter and her daughter's husband sells called Beard Strong....how ironic is that?

Everyone who knows me well, knows Honey has a beard that I HATE! Its scratchy, long and just yucky!....its not bad, he keeps it well groomed, I just have to make it sound good. But I got information on this Beard Oil so I could of course take it back to Honey and this can be yet another product he uses on his beloved beard.

But then we just began to talk. And you know how you talk to someone and it's never a dull moment and you chat and chat? Well that's what happened. We left each other to mingle some more and surprisingly at the end, she gave me a signed copy of her book. I was truly honored as she told me she always finds one person to give her book to and she chose me for this event. I thought that was so sweet! You just don't meet genuinely sweet people like Jean anymore.

Moving to Sunday. I had to work my counseling gig and had some down time, so I decided to whip out Jean's book. I was so caught up in the book, I completely read the entire book in one sitting. It was so moving. It was about 15 short stories about different women who had BIG 'BUTS' in their lives and didn't have the courage or strength to want better out of their respective situations until they found strength in themselves they didn't know they had to do better and ultimately fly into their destinies.

This book is what I needed at this particular time. I am a naturally motivated person but sometimes I get weary and need some extra motivation and that's exactly what I received from reading this book. Each woman in this book can be relatable to each reader and that's the beauty of it....its just real. Its honest and open. Jean doesn't hold back or I guess I could say these ladies don't hold back on their shortcomings and become transparent, which is often what we as women deflect from. We like to portray we live wonderful little lives just to put on a show for others. Obviously, if you allow yourself to be transparent, you can not only help yourself but most importantly help someone else.

Overall my weekend was amazballs! And I loved and enjoyed making a new friend. I suggest everyone, men included to check out Jean's Website and her books. They were so inspirational and uplifting and that's what the world needs a little more of!

Love & Peace

"How you gonna tell me no?!" Is Rape The New Thing?

 

 

Where are all the real rappers?

 

You know the ones that actually have more to say besides rapping about the money, clothes, cars and you cannot forget the hoes!

 

Well this morning I awoke to yet again some disturbing lyrics that have been floating around and surprisingly to me, they are once again involving the sensitive subject of rape. I mean you think these rappers would be past or above a topic like this. Didn't they learn from Rick Ross and his molly all in your drink lyrics?!

 

Well I guess not, because Rich Homie Quan added some suspect lyrics in a song that was leaked that hasn't been released yet.

 

I first heard of this on my yahoo news....I am addicted to yahoo news and I normally get emails with what's been going on in the world while I've been sleeping and I read it religiously every morning. But enough about me and back to the matter at hand.....

 

So Rich Homie Quan is one of the newbies out in the rap game, but he is quite popular in the hiphop culture....(for those who are looking at his name like what the what) Yea, I was the same way before he made it mainstream when my little cousin told me she was at the beach hanging out with him....that is a completely different story lol

 

I cannot lie, his songs do have very nice beats and that's what lures you in first. Once the beat is good and has you nodding your head is when you may sit down and listen to what they're really saying. I am guilty of this. I may not even listen to the words, I may only focus on the beat and then months later I am like, I was jamming to this?!

 

Now down to the nitty gritty....these lyrics are graphic and some can say that they are to be taken light heartily but in actuality once you read these lyrics, you may change your mind. The lyrics are posted below.

 

Quan raps on the track:

“Don’t want your ho, just want that cookie from her/She tried to resist so I took it from her/How you gonna tell me no/You must not know who I am/Even if I’m on the road I see what's goin’ on cause you know I got cameras/ I don’t know no questions but I know the answers/I throw these black fists just like a panther.”

If you're interested in hearing the song, here is the link: I Made It

Now having read these lyrics what do you think?

 

In my opinion, these lyrics are very distasteful. These artist need to know that music is powerful and the young fans and some of the adult fans, take the lyrics to heart.

 

Think about your favorite artist, when listening to particular lyrics your mood can be changed. You can go back to a time when you were most happiest, you can also hear a song and become mad at the world. Music is powerful and these artist don't see how their words or wordplay can affect people in positive and negative ways.

 

These lyrics show me that Quan has no problem with raping someone, if she says no. And when heard by young men who aspire to be like him, this can be a recipe for disaster!

 

I am a full time Event Planner by day and a part-time counselor at youth home. This past Monday night, I had group with four young men and one young lady and the topic was about lyrics to songs. I am not even making this up! They all but one told me that they take what these artist are saying for face value, meaning they believe what these artist say and hold it to a high standard.

 

I attempted to tell them that some of these things artist say are false, they have never done something's and its all to gain fans and etc. But when you are 15 and 16 years old, who would you believe? Beyoncé, Jay-z, Quan or me? I thought so....so that's why its important to stand against an artist when they say things that can be taken out of context because these kids will think rape is ok and shooting someone is a natural occurrence in life. (Which many of the youth that I work with do...its so sad)

 

I have also been on some social media forums and the question about Rich Homie Quan's lyrics were discussed. Some people feel the same as me and think that something should be done about lyrics and then you have some people who say, the lyrics are being looked at too closely and they shouldn't be phased because its just a song.

 

I respect everyone's opinion, but that doesn't mean I have to agree and that goes for the people who disagree with me. But I think if we as people don't crack down on artist and their negative lyrics, then we will have an epidemic of unruly children who will not have the sense to know the difference between right and wrong and will ultimately become criminals. The more we turn our backs and say well people are looking too much into songs, movies and everything else the media pushes, the more ignorant we become.

 

The same people who take songs lightly will be the same ones crying when their sons hear this song or other songs and rape/kill someone or will be upset when their daughters have been raped/killed.

 

Rape, killing and deceiving people are never ok. But some artist continue to glorify these things in songs and will have this next generation all messed up. The children are supposed to be our future and just think once we are older, what will these children do? Who will these young children be? Who will be our leaders when we are too tired and old?

 

These are things people take lightly either because they don't believe that their kids can reach that level of success or they just haven't grown enough to realize, their parents will become old and they will have to take on worldly matters one day.

 

Either way, I digress. Let me know your thoughts on the lyrics, the song and any other source of media that turns you off. I am always up for a good discussion.

By the time I finished this blog, Rich Homie Quan has made a statement saying he never meant for it to be released and he is pursuing legal action on a cease and decease for the song....oh and he apologizes and doesn't condone rape at all...... 

Mean What You Say & Say What You Mean

You would think that the phrase in my title would be effortless and natural to some people, but in actuality....unfortunately.....it's not!

 

Now, I live by this phrase. It comes natural to me and maybe it's because of the way I was reared (I am not a animal I was reared...not raised). Anyway, that was your lesson of the day! (LOL) But back to the topic....yes, I was taught to always tell how you feel. Never suffer in silence and to always be honest. So, when someone doesn't do something that they say they are going to do, it sets my soul on FIRE! Literally.

 

I was also taught that if you don't have a pot to piss in and a....well you know the rest...that you will always have two things. One being your GOOD  name and your word. My dad preached this to me numerous of times, and as I have gotten older I completely understand the logic.

 

Your name is everything. There is no one on this earth that can say anything negative about me. You cannot do it. I treat everyone with respect and sometimes if I am feeling jazzy, I even go out of my way to be extra polite. Do I have days were I am not feeling and I have attitudes....well duh, I am a woman with raging hormones at certain times of the month or even day. Of course you will have some people say negative things about you but, that's life and none of that resonates with me because those people don't really even know me.

 

However, in light of my ramble....I will always keep my word. Your word is bond. If you go around making and giving false hope to people who really rely on your word and take your word as being gold....as I do with other people, then you should stay true to that. Never and I mean never tell someone you are going to do something and you do not come through....after enough times, that person will see you as a LIAR.

 

I don't know about you guys, but being called a liar is ONE of the most despicable things to me. I mean there are some other words that could be said to me that could really hurt, but liar is one that I take to another level because that is a stab at my character.

 

I do not understand how people can give false hope knowing that their intention was never to manifest into anything of substance....maybe I am thinking to deep or maybe not. But in today's society, a lot of people my age take things for face value and don't have morals or standards to adhere to.

 

But as my ramble on keeping your word ends.....just remember if you take nothing from this post, just be true to yourself and keep your word.

Randomness and Nothingness

Per usual, I am busy!

 

I am always busy now and that's a great thing considering last year, I was sitting in the house wishing I had something to do. The past few weeks, I have had three events! And two of them were only a day apart. And I know you're thinking..."Well isn't that what event planners do?" well, yes. Yes, it is. However, I am new to this event planning stuff and in the past my events have been spread out by a month or so.

 

I am no way, shape or form complaining about being busy but I do wish I had more time in a day.

 

Just thinking about what I would do with more time in a day!

 

I would hang out with friends more. I can't get enough of Honey so you know he will be along for whatever ride I take.

 

I would workout more, because lord knows I haven't seen the gym in about two weeks...but I have managed to lose five pounds and keep them off.....I must be doing something right! Oh and of course I would blog more!

 

Today I had time to catch up with my good girlfriend....I think saying bestfriend is so cliché! So I'll say, Good Girlfriend lol She is a super mom and super business lady, she and her husband own their own restaurant in Durham. It's a cute Mexican Restaurant named El Coyote. WARNING SHAMELESS PLUG.....If you are ever in Durham, NC stop by, the food is really good and authentic.

 

But enough of the shameless plug and back to the story....so we were chatting it up about the currents in our lives, when she says "I want to start a blog". I have already gotten my other girlfriend to start a blog and it's called Figuring Things Out (click on the link to check it out...it's a really good read). Of she worries about what to write about and I tell her to just WRITE! I told this to my girlfriend who has just started her own blog and someone told me this tid bit as well when I first started.

As you all can see my blog is a true lifestyle blog...my interpretation of that is that I write about whatever comes to my mind. So, having said that...watch out for her blog and check out the link above for more good reads.

Girl.....No She Didn't!

 

A few days ago I came across a video of a young woman who was speaking on how black women should do better. This video wasn't slandering on the black woman, because I wouldn't have gone for that AT ALL. But, it was just stating how we need to uplift each other and stand together because everyone knows, divided WE fall. She touched on how we compete with each other, don't give compliments or props when they are due, and even the dirty looks when we see each other in passing. I loved this video merely for her courage to address the situation and bring it to light when WE sweep it under the rug.

 

I knew I wanted to write about it and give my two cent but put the idea on the back burner until this past Saturday night.

 

For those who don't know, I am a Event Coordinator. And this past Saturday I coordinated an event at a event hall that had multiple events going. While I was standing in the hall of the venue gathering my guest inside our venue room, I saw a stunning black woman sashaying towards me. She was leaving one of the events that was also taking place. She was tall, her hair was flawlessy up in a top knot bun and her face was beat to the God's!

 

I smiled at her as she got closer, only to have her side eye me and roll her eyes as she stuck her nose up in the air. She looked at one of my guest and myself as if we were scum under her shoe, as if we were the help, as if I had stole the guy she was walking with, as if I told her she smelled of salami and vinegar....ok, you guys get the point. LOL I was so taken back by this, because I had just watched a video on this very thing.

 

I was actually kind of hurt because, some of us will never get it. As black women, we are the most disrespected people. At birth we already have two strikes against us: 1. We are female 2. We are black. We have to be better than the best to make it in this world. Our own black kings don't respect us. Listen to the music...it's always Bitch this or hoe that and we glorify this music, these rappers, and society by doing what? Overlooking it and bobbing our heads to the music. I will admit, I was one of them bobbing and even singing the lyrics but I didn't get it then....not the way I get it now.

 

I don't have children but one day I will, whether they will be male or female I will teach them the importance of unity in the black community so maybe one day they can go out into the world and make a difference.

 

I know some people reading this won't get it or will somewhat understand but won't change their outward manifestations and if this is the case, I guess they really just don't get it....but I hope we as black sisters can correct our attitudes towards each other and realize that just because the next black woman is shining and doing well, doesn't mean that your light has to dim. If anything, use it as a torch to reignite your own. Always lift up the next person because divided we fall.

 

Love,

 

Your Black Sister

 

If you are interested in the video......https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipGjLEGcIVo

By The Way....

I would like to take the time out to show case my cousin....I won't say her name but I know she reads my blogs...My cousin is about to graduate with her Masters! She has had ups and downs but she has always remained focused and resilient. I want to let her know, how proud of her I am. She doesn't know this, but I look up to her as a woman. I also would like to congratulate her on her One Year Anniversary of being apart of Delta Sigma Theta!

Moving Up and Out!

 

Also on my hiatus, Honey and I decided to actively look for places to live.....together...as a couple...we will be a couple who lives together....FINALLY.

 

This has been something I have been wanting to do for a while but timing is everything and as I get older I see that phrase a little more clearly now. But yes, it's official! We have been to six different properties and we have seen some we like, love and totally hate!

 

I am not the traditional southern girl. I don't believe in waiting to co-habitat with someone when you are married, I respect those that do wait. But I need to know how you living before I sign on the dotted line. But that's just me!

 

So, hopefully by summer we can begin a life together as adults. I am so excited. Spending the night is so different than living with someone and I hope we will make it through lol I am very anal with the way I keep my house, and I hope he can transition....happy wife, happy life....well, maybe that phrase will be official sooner than later but you guys get what I am saying.

 

This has been a very fun experience thus far. Not only have we checked out new places, but we have discussed décor options and you know I have been looking to purchase new furniture. Honey honestly always allows me free range to do all of these things, his only request is that I don't make it too girly...once again, I remind him I am not the traditional southern girl who has to be all matchy matchy...not my style at all. I am/we are more contemporary and modern. We have been watching a lot of HGtv and getting ideas on some diy things that we can do to make our space one of a kind and our own.

 

However, I have found some furniture that he and I will like that has a metro feel to it. And I guess once we officially decide on them, I will do post about our place and the décor we chose to go with. One item that I have to make is a shot ski! I don't drink like that but I think that would be so cool to have for when we have gatherings. And if you don't know what a shot ski is, then maybe we will invite you over to use ours! lol

 

Right now though.....Life is amazing and I am on cloud 9.

Hiatus

 

So, unfortunately I have had roughly about a two month hiatus from my blog but with good reason. A lot has been going on in my personal life and honestly...I just haven't had the time to write....better yet, made the time to write. (I won't sugar coat it because I am a firm believer that people make time for the things that are important to them.)

 

Anyway to update you guys, I enjoyed the Chris Brown concert! I screamed like a young high school girl in heat! I danced and sung all the songs along with my girlfriend Bre! You can see us pictured together in the bottom left corner as well as at the top with some of my friends I saw there. And you can definitely see BREEZY in the middle...with the tightest jeans he owns on! Insert scream right about...............HERE! It was a very good BUT short show....I guess since Trey Songz backed out, it was shorter than what it would have been.....not pressed because I didn't want to see him anyway. I wasn't a fan of Tyga (Who may or may not date a child....lol) but he was full of energy which made the show really good.

 

Honey and I have been hanging out with friends lately and we just added another couple friend to our list. Remember way back when, when I told you guys about my very first friend? Well we have been in contact and even got our beau's together for a night of hanging out....couples edition. And we are pictured together at the top. It's really nice meeting positive and upbeat people and in my case I guess I have always known her....we just started back talking...but you get what I am saying.

 

My dad and I went on a daddy/daughter date rock climbing and boy was the funny! Of course I climbed to the top of everything minus one wall because I just cannot figure out how to maneuver that one. But my dad was so funny to watch because that was his first time. I really enjoyed that day and I want to do more things like that with my parents. I really don't see my mom doing the whole rock climbing bid but if she does I am definitely documenting it and posting it on here! lol

 

Unfortunately everything was all smiles and laughs on my hiatus from the blog. One of the three Great Grandmothers that I have passed away. (The poem pictured is one that I read at her service) I hadn't seen her in a long time and about two to three weeks before she passed, God provided an opportunity for me to see and talk to her as well has some of my aunt's I have not seen in awhile. That was nothing but a blessing! I am so glad that I had that opportunity to spend that small amount of time with her. On a lighter note, I showed her a picture of Honey and she said, "He is CUTE!" LOL I died laughing but then came back and made a joke, telling her to not to try to steal him away from me lol We all laughed. I only wish he wasn't away on business the two weeks following, so I could bring him to meet her. But I know she sees him now and hopefully she likes him.

 

I also was afforded the opportunity to showcase my event planning skills in this expo! Which is the photo of the mock sweetheart table. I am the preferred event planner at a event hall! Whoop whoop! Go head with my bad self! And I am working on a second. My business has been flourishing and I am nothing but blessed! However, I did also pick up a part-time Counseling position....might as well use my degree! lol

 

And this past weekend I hung out with some ladies that brought me out of my shell in college. I talk about my fairy blog mother and business guru on here and she has finally reached some of her goals in life and that was the cause of the celebration/reunion. I love each of these women ever so much! We may not talk all the time, but when we get together you would never know! I am so proud of the women we have become and the women we will be destined to be. Love you ladies with all my heart! We all are pictured in the top left corner......and actually that is an amazing candid shot, so no we didn't know Alisha was taking that pic in the back!.....once we realized it, we may or may not have retaken it! LOL Mind yall's business and let us be GREAT!

 

So as you can see my hiatus was needed. And a lot has happened but for blog purposes I will keep it cute!

 

One Love.