As you can see from the title, I am an only child.

And as a child, I enjoyed being an only child...probably because I didn't know any better.

However, I think it has been a blessing and a curse to be an only child and for two reasons; 1 blessing being that I have an incredibly vivid imagination and the curse, when my parents and paternal Grandmother pass away it will only be me left.

 

As a child I had cousins to play with but when I went home, it was just me. When I would be alone in my room, I would often make believe I had many friends, I even had an imaginary friend as a child. Life was great! But this imaginary make believe friend thing didn't stop there...as a child, I mean.

 

When I am alone, I may still have imaginary....ok, I still imagine I have friends that I really don't have, but its not on the level you may initially think. Let me explain this further, because I am sure someone is like Tamia is a certified loon! LOL

 

The people I imagine are my friends are celebrities. I'm sure I am not the only one who does this! Celebrities have taken over mass media, so they're every where! I follow a few on social media mostly to understand who they really are as people and not the full persona they often display.

 

So as you can see, I'm not crazy...or am I? Who cares. I am me.

 

There is no obsession with these celebs, from what I see on their social media accounts I think we would mesh well as friends.

 

In no particular order here are the celebs I think I would mesh well with:

• Ruby Rose "Model, Actress & Bad Ass" - I feel like me and Ruby would go to cool concerts and dress very fashionable but look like we really didn't try, even though we put a little effort into our wardrobe and hair. She looks so cool and carefee in all of her instagram photos and I think that is so bad ass.
• Taraji P. Henson "THE Cookie Lyons" - So, Taraji would be my friend that's more like an Aunty. She would give me great advice about life and how to conquer it. She is killing the game right now, and I feel like she is so humble and would gladly take on the Aunty role for me. LOL
• Trinity Fatu and Eva Marie "Sexy & Strong" -  This is a two for one combo. These ladies are wrestlers and I love looking at their ig pages because they make being strong look so sexy! They would be my gym friends, we would go to the gym and lift and they would hold me accountable for everything that I eat. And I would probably do everything they said because, they could beat me and Honey up at the same time. YIKES!
• B. Scott "Mr. or Ms. Know it all" - Ok, so hands down B. Scott is going to be my good Judy! Judy meaning my fabulous, androgynous and funny friend. He is flawless, humble and he always brings the tea! Plus, he is really good friends with Mariah Carey!!! So, I am sure I would meet her...duh! LOL
• Rihanna "Dance Hall Queen" - So Ri would be my crazy party gal friend! We would hit all the hot spots and just have fun. When I want to let my hair down, I would call her. (For obvious reasons, that don't need to be stated)
• Kim K. "Ya'll Already Know" - I love to hate her, but I have to say I have always admired her style. Even before Kanye and Kris! LOL I don't like what she stands for, but I like her outfit of the days for sure. So, she would only be used when I was going some where and needed some fashion advice.
• Courtney Kerr "Southern Fashionista" - We have that southern twang, she dresses to the T's, and she seems like a good ol' southern girl. I think we would be really good friends for all these reasons.
• Tokimonsta "Producer & DJ" - Her shows look so fun! Her music is amazing and it would be so cool to see how she gets her inspiration. (Honey and I are going to see her next month!!)
• Latoya Forever "YouTube Sensation" - In her vlogs, she is so down to earth. She is just a twenty-something year old living life with her husband, kid and framily (friends and family). She is the reason I want to vlog my life experiences...and stay tuned for that because its going down very soon!

Now these are only a few, I have like a zillion others but this blog would be super long! The moral of this story is, never lose your imagination. As adults, we often forget what its like to be an adolescent, teenager, and young adult. And that happens with age because we have so much on our plates, but remember to never stop having fun...even if you're alone.

 

Who is your imaginary friend? It can be a celebrity or even someone you admire from afar. Leave a comment below. :-)

Reasons Why I Love My Mom

Today is my Mother's birthday and of we are celebrating by....SIKE! My Dad surprised her with a trip to Cozumel, Mexico so guess who is stuck dog sitting in Greensboro, NC? ME.

 

But she deserves it, as she does so much for our family. So, enjoy Mom and bring me something back...preferably with a worm in it!

 

I love my Mom because:

 

1. She chose me, she gave me life!

2. She didn't give up on me when I didn't see it her way (which was the right way)

3. She let me figure things out and then I would think (because I would never say) you were right

4. She would give me her last

5. As she has done before, just to see me happy

6. The nights she prayed for me when I needed it

7. The times she read me bed time stories

8. How she always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be

9. The way she consoled me when I dropped out of law school and felt like I had no purpose

10. All the fashion advise I may or may not have taken

11. For helping me trash talk anyone who made me mad

12. all the countless times we may share a thought and no one says anything, but we just know

13. For giving me her bad eyesight and now I have to find new statement pieces as eyewear (I am excited about this one)

14. I love how strong she is

15. and when I am weak she always has it together

16. she thinks I am wonderful, smart and pretty (we all need to hear that sometimes)

17. how she keeps it real, even when I am so past it

18. how she has shown me a great example of what a mother is

19. she has taught me how to balance a checkbook, now do I always do it? No, but I know how

20. she told me, if you can't get it off your mind...buy it

21. she always tells me to save my money...revert to #20

22. She cooks everything just right

23. She shows how someone can be truly self-less
24. She likes trap music and God
25. She encourages me to be my very best
26. She lets me know regardless of my failures she is proud of me
27. She has reared an amazing woman..me of course
28. she is a wonderful wife
29. because she has her own style
30. because she does all of these things and more repetitively without a single moan or groan.

I love her more than anything or anyone in this world and the only thing she has not taught me, is how to live without her when she is gone.

Cherish your mother, give her a call today. I love you Mom!

*This post was written on September 29, 2015

 

This Is No Ordinary Love

Just like Sade says, "This is no ordinary love".

And when my parents would play this song when I was younger, I didn't realize the message.

I didn't understand the lyrics, the love in her voice or the emotion she felt when she sung this song.

Now I do.

 

 I have found a love that I have never known before. I know I have talked about Honey in the past, but as we grow and life continues to happen to us, my love just continues to grow for him.

 

We have a love like no other. We do everything together. LITERALLY. It is rare that you see me without him. And I love that. I used to be the girl who would pitty the girl who was always with her boyfriend or significant other, but I get it now. And I don't mean we are always together in that co-dependent sort of way, its in the way that's so perfect, so real. We genuinely love being in each other's company.

The other day I was off from work and as I laid in the bed thinking about my honey, I thought to myself..."Girl, you have it bad" I miss him when he is at work, like I am never going to see him again. This is how I know this is no ordinary love. This love runs DEEP, deep down into my being and I don't want this feeling to ever go away.

The feeling I feel for him so is organic, it happens so naturally. He encourages me, prays with and for me, he teaches me things that he may learn and just all around balances me. I feel like Jill Scott wrote those songs for me, you know the songs..."He loves me", "The Way" and even "Crown Royal" on a frisky day because that's how I feel about him.

I never thought I would ever find my soul mate, I didn't believe in soul mates...I thought that was just a thing people who are "deep" referred to their significant others...now I know different.

He brightens my day with his mere presence and yes, he annoys me at times but in those times, I want him near. This thing here, is deep! And I don't see it fading anytime soon because it grows everyday. Everyday I find a new thing about him, and I fall deeper and deeper into his spell. He has me. All of me and I don't want this feeling to end.

He is so caring and patient. Patient in a way that he knows what I need. Its like he was made especially for me, like God molded him especially for me. Now see, I know God is good and God is great but he burst the mold when he made Honey! And once again, that saying that everyone says...there is somebody for everybody...let me be the first to tell you that its true! God made him for me and me for him too.

I don't regularly express my emotions on this subject in such detail and so publicly but I can't contain this feeling that I have. I'm the only one, you're the only one just a couple of forevers is what I am waiting for(in my Chrisette Michele voice).

This is no ordinary love.


New Job and New Adventures

Time flies when you're busy!

How well do I know this phrase...I think I made that up, so cite me when you use it! lol

I started a new position for the summer with The Queen's Foundation, a local non-profit and boy, have they kept me busy! I am so excited about the job because I get to combine the two things that make me smile...planning events for them as well as being a positive light to young girls.

 

So, I have added more to my busy plate but it has been very rewarding. These young girls are so smart, and what this organization does for them is remarkable. I guess you can say, I have fallen in love with these girls and the organization itself. The director and founder is amazing. She is truly self-less and gives her all, which makes me want to do the same.

 

This position is for the summer, and soon it will be ending...insert sad face....HERE.

 

But, once it is over I think I will go on a vacation! Honey may not be able to go with me and that makes me sad. Or we could potentially cut it short, but I need at least a week!

 

One of my closet friends is moving to Los Angeles and I told him I would visit him before his class starts, so that may be my get away!

 

Nothing has been new with me, just living and working. I thought I should check in and say hey!

 

Stay blessed and live to the fullest....XOXO

Keep Your Head Up: An Ode To My Friend

Life. 

 

If you Google what "life" means, you will see...."the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death."

 

If you are just reading this and taking this for face value, none of this will resonate with you. And to be completely honest, the only thing that stands out to me is the "continual change preceding death" part. Whomever wrote this definition or this one part that stuck out to me, either wrote this as blandly as possible just have a short and sweet definition or they haven't been through any real life struggle. I mean how humdrum is that last part? If you ask me, its VERY!

 

The overall definition is disconnected from any social norm I am used too.

 

Life is so much more than continual change preceding death. Life is beautiful, fun and has so many adventures...I mean the possibilities are endless with this thing called life. I have a couple of people in my circle who are experiencing the downside of life right now, meaning things aren't going their way. I can completely understand their plight, I have had things fall through or not even come to pass in my favor. 

 

What I want them and the reader to know is trouble won't last always. And I want to take back my statement of "downside" to life because there is no downside of life when you can open your eyes and take a breath. And I know you're thinking, 'yea, but that's easy for you to say...you're not going through anything'. Well, that's the problem. You have to take yourself out of negative situations and having a pessimistic mind.
 

 
 

The beauty of life is the unknown. I have fully embraced the unknown and honestly, I feel as though my life has completely done a 180 from last year. I tried to plan life, and I had a rude awakening when nothing went as planned. I had no job which caused monetary issues, I moved back home to Greensboro (which ended up being a blessing) the one place I tried to run from ended up being the very place that saved my life. I was able to surround myself with family and friends, and although my situation didn't change overnight...never the less it changed.

 

I am not ashamed of my story and if you ever meet me, I will and can go deeper into my testimony because I look at everything I went through as an opportunity to help the next person.

 

What I am trying to say is, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how bad things seem...never give up! Never stop praying. If you don't believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord & Savior, believe in someone. And pray to that person for guidance and strength. And you can overcome any adversity that presents itself in your life.
 

 
 

You're going to have bad days, I know life is not sunshine and butterflies everyday, but

 everyday you wake up is another chance at life. Another chance to overcome your struggle, another chance to right a wrong and another chance to live and become the person you truly want to be.

 

Don't you know that diamonds are made under pressure? This trial you are going through is merely a test, and I cannot wait until you can share your testimony with the next person because when you can openly share with someone and see the expression of hope come across their face, it is PRICELESS.

 

Love and Light to all, especially my friend.

 

 

Nothing Was The Same: How Today's Generation is Oversexed, Lack Morals & Self Respect

 

This blog is not for the naïve, faint of heart, clueless or unaware people of the world. They just won't get this...

 

As a young twenty-something living, working and trying to do good in the "hood", I have noticed a lot of debauchery in the world and especially with my generation. If you aren't sure what generation you are in, I'm sure if you're reading this blog you are a Millennial. If you were born within the years of 1981-2000 you are apart, connected, grouped with the youth of today. You know the ones that don't have a type, but the only women they like are bad....you know the rest.

 

This is our youth, we are one. But have you wondered why there has been a slight curve within the millennial group? Money, cars, clothes and sex have always been a popular topic with the masses, but with this generation...from personal experience and mere observations, the millennial babies have taken this and literally ran with this for decades and its only becoming more of an issue.

 

SPOILER ALERT: I am going to touch on the reasons why I think this generation is oversexed, lack morals & self respect....or respect in general.

 

Let's state the obvious, I am a Millennial. The things that I am going to talk about, I probably thought was cool or acceptable. It has only been since I have opened my eyes and in other words, matured have I seen the light.

 

I am not going to sugar coat anything, our generation is completely oversexed. I had a conversation with a cousin a few months back and we both came to the reason why our generation is oversexed....now you may not agree with us, but our take raises valid points. Today's generation are followers. Followers in the sense that having more followers on social media makes you relevant, important in some sense. How do you get more followers? Sex appeal. Sex appeal is the end all and be all on social media. Which in turn makes everyone trying to obtain that validation of "being somebody" go above and beyond (Buzz Lightyear voice) on these networking sights.

 

I have seen women bare it all. I'm sure you have too. I have seen pen (short for penis) pictures circulating and greasy six packs as well...and I think to myself...don't these people know that once you post something online, its embedded online forever!...unless you have Beyoncé money and can pay someone to delete it. But, most people in the world aren't banking to that extent and cannot afford that, so that scantily clad outfit, penis pic and whatever else one choices to post for a like will be there when you apply for a job, and most importantly...for your children to see. (Someone is rolling there eyes...right about...NOW!)

 

The youth is also oversexed because...well...its EASY. Today, a man doesn't have to work and court a woman like in the olden days of the Baby Boomers or Generation X. They're all consumed with being a "baddie" or a "woe" (I may have used that out of term, because I'm not sure exactly what that means lol) It's like the more people you have sex with, the more clout you have and to frankly speak, that's disgusting.

 

Standing on my soap box: The reason I think this generation is so oversexed is because of the media. The way they portray celebrities. Think about it, lets take Beyoncé...she is a phenomenal performer, she is gorgeous. The media has put her and other gorgeous women of Hollywood on a pedestal & that leaves the average woman of the world left seeing her brother, dad, cousin, & significant other ogling over this woman (& the many others) and she internally wants to reproduce what she sees. And what does she do? She changes her image. She buys clothing that mimic what she sees and what she thinks will get her the attention of the opposite sex. And I don't mean dressing in barely there clothing, it can be anything that gives her that confidence she needs to feel like somebody.

 

Then you take the young man, he wants the money, cars and clothes to mimic the celebrities he sees with all the women. And he does the same as what the girl does who idolizes Beyoncé. This is a mixture for disaster because now you have young people fueled with the same desire. The young male is just trying to have clout within his friends to have this girl and that girl and goes out to find these women....notice I used THESE & WOMEN, in the plural sense.

 

Now our young man has found our young lady that we spoke about in the beginning and she easily and willingly gives up her precious gift thinking she may have found the one or just a good time. But the young man isn't solely interested in her and seeks the thrill of the next young woman who is mimicking what she sees in the media. And this my friends is a cycle. These young women make it so easy for these young men because there are a lack of morals and self respect. And I cannot put it all on the young women because we see the male is apart of the problem as well.

 

What happened to knowing your worth...and I mean that for both sexes. One answer, the media. People don't believe or they simply avoid the power of media, it can be a good thing and then the media can be as evil as the devil. And that's why its so important why we as a generation open our eyes and see that wealth, sex and importance don't stem from materialistic entities and the more you chase after that golden horse, the less happy you'll be and you'll be another fatality of the media.

 

At time in my life, I was naïve and I thought those things made me, I wasn't important without labels or knowing what celebrity did what...but it wasn't until I realized what truly is going on in the world and how lost our generation really is, that I decided to make myself aware of our issues. With writing this blog, if  I can get one person to step back and think, that could change the direction of our generation. And when I say "think" I don't mean you have to agree with me....I just want you to THINK. Step away from yourself and really evaluate yourself. Are you putting too much emphasis on the what nots of the world?

 

LET'S BE PROACTIVE MILLENNIALS!

 

 

 

 

 

WE are STRONG, WE are POWERFUL, WE are FORTIFIED!

As always, my weekend was slam packed! I am in NO way complaining because...just this time last year I was down and out and was just lost in life. It is so crazy how God can turn things around for you when you completely give him all the control in your life.

So back to my weekend! I had been running around tying up loose ends for a event here, there and not to mention my part-time counseling gig. But on Saturday, I helped my trainer put on her first Women's Health Expo. It was amazing! There were vendors from Arbonne (All natural weight lose and cosmetics), Cone Health (Hospital), DoTerra (Natural Aromatherapy Oils) mini testimony: my thumb and wrist have been hurting me since last November, Casey (DoTerra rep) gave me this cream and in literally in moments my wrist and thumb felt better...no lie, Saladworks, Lowes Food, Macy's, Boho Blu (Clothing Store) and one more vendor I forgot.....sorry. Anyway you guys get the point. We had a consignment sale and massage therapist giving away free massages! It was an overall wonderful event and I know April will continue to build this event and her business, because for a first time event....I think it was awesome.

Although everything was a amazing, one woman stood out to me. Her name is Jean Bailey Robor. When April first told me she was going to be one of the speakers and that she was the author of "She Has A Big 'But'", I totally thought she would be speaking of having a big butt (literally) and giving tips on how to deflate that thang!

However, I was wrong. Jean spoke about being empowered and conquering fears, hence the play on words...."She Has a Big 'But'". Afterwards when we had some down time and could network and talk to each other, she randomly came up and began a conversation with me. Although I am outspoken, I have to muster up a tremendous amount of effort to introduce myself to people. Having said that, I am glad she did. We started off with light chatter about April and how wonderful the event was and etc. And then we started talking about a product that her daughter and her daughter's husband sells called Beard Strong....how ironic is that?

Everyone who knows me well, knows Honey has a beard that I HATE! Its scratchy, long and just yucky!....its not bad, he keeps it well groomed, I just have to make it sound good. But I got information on this Beard Oil so I could of course take it back to Honey and this can be yet another product he uses on his beloved beard.

But then we just began to talk. And you know how you talk to someone and it's never a dull moment and you chat and chat? Well that's what happened. We left each other to mingle some more and surprisingly at the end, she gave me a signed copy of her book. I was truly honored as she told me she always finds one person to give her book to and she chose me for this event. I thought that was so sweet! You just don't meet genuinely sweet people like Jean anymore.

Moving to Sunday. I had to work my counseling gig and had some down time, so I decided to whip out Jean's book. I was so caught up in the book, I completely read the entire book in one sitting. It was so moving. It was about 15 short stories about different women who had BIG 'BUTS' in their lives and didn't have the courage or strength to want better out of their respective situations until they found strength in themselves they didn't know they had to do better and ultimately fly into their destinies.

This book is what I needed at this particular time. I am a naturally motivated person but sometimes I get weary and need some extra motivation and that's exactly what I received from reading this book. Each woman in this book can be relatable to each reader and that's the beauty of it....its just real. Its honest and open. Jean doesn't hold back or I guess I could say these ladies don't hold back on their shortcomings and become transparent, which is often what we as women deflect from. We like to portray we live wonderful little lives just to put on a show for others. Obviously, if you allow yourself to be transparent, you can not only help yourself but most importantly help someone else.

Overall my weekend was amazballs! And I loved and enjoyed making a new friend. I suggest everyone, men included to check out Jean's Website and her books. They were so inspirational and uplifting and that's what the world needs a little more of!

Love & Peace